You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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