Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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