Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
