So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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