I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
