dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
