She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
