Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
