So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
