hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
