you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
