every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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