Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
