I'm jealous of your bromance
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
