sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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