Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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