drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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