Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
