Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
