9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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