Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
