I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
