I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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