This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
