State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
