I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
