I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
either way he was missing a nipple.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
