I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
