What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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