I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
