How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I love you. Go after that dick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
