my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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