You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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