i just had sex bonerless
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
