So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
