I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm like, not good at living.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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