We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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