We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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