No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
