kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I deserve this hangover.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
