dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
