also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
