After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
