So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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