**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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