marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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