I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
