do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
