True but thats because hes a fetus.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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