It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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