the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
