all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
