They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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