Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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